omgosh about ten mins ago i took three trays of cookies out of my oven =D

hehehe i combined two recipes together to make this super recipe =P hahaa ok..no i wont call it super but..its been serene-afied! lol =Pp

lols but..the sad thing is.. some of them .. quite a number of them got burnt around the edges coz i went to vacuum the house =x and i didnt think it wud take that fast for them to cook >_< sigh o wels.. anywys i got inspired by this random blog i came across.. su yin! omgosh she makes the most awsumess cakes everrrrrrr lol

http://cookingismypassion.blogspot.com/ << u gota check it out one day! seriously! omg

hehehe yes she has recipes for so many things lol and omgosh they look soo good hahah.. oki my cookies that i made just then..dont match up to hers =( hahaha.. but practise makes perfect righT? >_< i shall try again when ifind the stoopid electric blender! YES I bLENDEd EVERYTHING WITH A F***n WhISK! omggggg.. soo tiring! =x



anyways.. here are the ingredients =D

1 1/2 cups of plain flour
1 1/2 tsp of vanilla essence
1 large egg
1 1/2 tbs of milk
90gm butter
3/4 cups brown sugar
180gm dark cooking chocolate
1/4 cocoa powder or..milo =P hahaa
1 tsp bicarbonate soda

++ extra: marshmellows, nuts, chocolate chips.. i put green mint m&ms lOl MMMMM hmm

how to make it all.. lol

+ mix together the butter and the sugar and blend til creamy
+ when creamy mix in with egg milk and vanilla essence
+ combine the flour, bicarb and cocoa powder in a seperate bowl
+ mix in dry combination slowly (about 1/3 eaach time) and add in the melted chocolate =D
+ can throw in your chocolate bits, marshmellows etc into ur mixture
+ section your mixture into balls and place them on a baking trayy
+ put them in the oven and wait =D

they are omggggg delicious hahah XP haha i shall add a picture of my creation .. =P




*drooOols* hehee the house smells soo goood heheh =)

oki well imma go pack them ups now =D heheh

- dreamer

sigh the past week has been ...a mess sigh.. its all going down hill sigh..nothing seems to ever go rite nemore.. *tears*

i dont understand wat went wrong sigh i dont know how to make it all better...

worse of all.. i dont know how to let him go.. cries

i know that its timee.. and that i hv to do it soon.. im onli hurting myself every day sigh and thinkn of him wont make him come bak to me.. tears

but how...

tell me how ..cries

he is reli my dream come true.. i wud rlei do anythng..sigh.. i still dont understand whuy he wont let me in again sighs.. we are good.. we can be good.. sigh..

patience righT? sighs....
i dont know if i can take it nemore....

sighs....


- - - - -

*how do i...*

[w]hen you left me you took my entire heart
it was the worst that anyones ever made me hurt
everytime im alone i think of you
and whenever i close my eyes all i can see is you

wat hurts the most is seeing you during school
and not being able to walk up to u and kiss you like i used to
my head is a mess and i get so confused
how do i say hello when all i want is to talk to you

i dont know wat to do anymore
how do i make u love me once more..
i miss those times wen it was just you and me
just us together and nothing else to worry

how do i talk to you when all i wana say is i love you
how do i smile when inside im broken and blue
tell me how do i make u love me again
coz witout ur love all i feel is emptiness and pain

we can be soo good together
we can make our love last forever
wat went wrong ..wat did i do
tell me wat to do to get bak with you

how do i...
baybi tell me how do i...


- - - - - -

how do i live my life witout u by my side
how do i smile witout pretending im happy
how do i make u fall in love with me again
how can i make things better...

tears

how do i make u mine again....

it wud make my life complete... s2

- dreamer ( i love u rL more and more every day... tears )

argh bleh.. i cant take it man..sighs.. i tried not to talk to him while we both online ..zz and he didnt even talk to me.. arghh it suks..seeing him online and not talking to me.. like wongy sed..sighh u wonder who else hes talkn to coz ur not that important to him nemore sigh and then u just sit tere waiting for him to talk and hope tat he misses u..sigh blehh omgggggggg it sukS!
i lost it juz then.. and i sed hi..but..he didnt even reply..well he did..but then we didnt start talking.. he isnt talkn! sigh *heartbreaks*

arghhh i duno how he does it sigh.. i feel soo bleh when it comes to him.. when hes around or when im talkin to him ..i feel soo ..differnt.. >_< i get scared and my heart beats faster than usual.. and then i get sad ..sighhhs.. arghhh im tryin to keep myself distracted and to move on and wat not zz but arghh. i reli reli do love him ..and i reli miss him..every single night..and i duno wat to do..

right now..myheart feels soo heavy.. like its drowning in my own tears.. sigh.. its beating soo slowly sighs and sometimes it hurts sigh.. i feel like crying but im tryin not to.. i feel a tear forming in my eye and ready to go sighs.. i feel like shit..and all this coz he isnt talkn to me! =( arghhh.. help me sighs.. help me pls.. i duno wat to do..

argh seriously..wat does he want from me.. sighs.. blehhh arghh and blehh why cant i juz hav him bakk sighs.. iv been soo patient and iv been waiting and putting up with all his shit that hes been throwing at me.. iv seriously had the worse year so far.. and its all because of him..

one person..

shit the tear has come out..zz sighs i still feel all bleh and clogged up inside tho sighs =( i cant talk properly coz my throat is stuk .. it wants to cry but.. i dun want to cry lol..sigh =(

arghhhhhh negative energy! sighs =( arghh sryy to everyone zz i know iv been a pain in the ass lately sighs im tryin mann sigh trust me.. that whuy i havnt been online in soo long sighs.. the net now adays makes me soo sad and depressed..coz like i sed earlier..sigh i see him..and i wana talk to him zz but we cant talk like we used to sighs.. =( and i get all sad zz coz blehhhhhh hees online but we dont talk as much as i want to talk to him sighs.. and blehh =( i just miss him soo much..

being offline suks too tho coz its so lonley and then i think about him too sighs.. blehh no matter wat i think about him all the time? sigsh =( hahaha blehh i cant help it.. im sure some of u will understand wat im on about sighs..>_<" blehh im stuck ! sigh soo stuk.. and i cant get out at all..

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wana run away sometimes.. blehhh but i know thaat running away aint gona make things go away or make anything better sighs.. blehhh it just suks..being stukk.. zz it suks soo bad! ARGHH i juz wna hug him again sighs.. i wana kiss him and tell him i love him and hear him say it bak to me..sigh =( i wana stay at home and offline and just be with him.. watchin tv or eatin dinner together.. and thens not worying about anything else.. just me and him all over again sighs.. i wud give anything for that.. tears

i wish that he misses me sighh i wish that he thinks about me every night sigh i wish that he still has feelings for me and i wish that he wud give me another chance sighs.. i wishhh soo bad that i can hav him again every day and every nght sighs .. my heart reali aches for him sighs.. i juz feel so bleh and empty without him with me in my life sighs.. nothing ever seems to go right for me now adays sighs.. everythign alwasie fuks up and i hav the shittiest days ever sighs...

bleh sigh.. cries.

how do i make him mine again? sighs

arghh i must study sigh.. blehh

iwl rite more laters sighs...

- dreamer (missing him more than ever sigh)

** its soo true.. wat hurts the most..is being soo close .. them just standing ther..sigh but u can onli love them from a distance now.. coz they dont belong to u nemore sigh.. and all the memories u hav ..sigh how last time u cud just hug them straight away when u see them.. u can kiss them and hold their hand whenever u wanted to.. sigh.. nw ..hes just standing right ther.. talkin to u sigh right in front of u..i wudnt even call it a distance sigh but u cnt do anything.. u cant tell them that u miss them that u love them and u wana be with them forever sigh.. u just hav to pretend and smile and keep talking sigh and hope that they will hug u when u say goodbye tears.. it hurts so bad...to keep all this inside of u sigh for him not to feel the same nemore like he used to sigh.. u think about how he used to hold u sigh and how he wud hug u and whisper in ur ear that he wud love u forever and ever tear.. u rmber the times that u had with him.. how nothing else in the world mattered as long as u wer with him cries.. it hurts soo much not to be able to have him as my own nemore sigh.. it hurts to see him and to talk to him.. its hard..i gta pretend when i talk to him ..coz i cant talk to him normally nemore sigh.. im soo scared and blehh my heart reli hurts..i just wish i cud run up to him and hug him and tell him how sorry i am and how much i love him and alwasie will and he will forgive me and take me back and give us another chance..cries.. i wish he wud take me back..cries.. i wish he will love me again like he used to..tears..my life suks soo bad witout him in it..cries.. i duno wat to do nemore..cries..bring him bak to me....tears iloveurl**

hrmms wel this weekend has been a bit fukdish haha sighs...

i shud first tell u about my terrible friday !! sighs.. it was reli such a bad luck day for me sighs. firstly i missed my bus at my area! and the shitty thing about it is..i came earli too! two mins earli and i saw it come out the other end ffs! that reli pissed me off sighs.. anyways.. i had to make it to tute right...coz last week i missed it coz of the same stoopid reasons!!
[raaaaaar @ bus]

sighs so i walkd to south streeet.. but.. it fukn started raining on me !!! so i walked thru the rain for 20 fkn mins and still missed my bus so i had to wait for another bus..which wud obviously make me late for class alredi sighs.. anways.. u knw wat.. when i got to the friggn bus stop it stopped raining!!! fukn raaaaaar
[raaaaaaaar @ raiN]

sighs.. anyways i finally got on the stoOopid bus and hoped that it wud get to city very fast so that i cud maybe catch the 55 past bus and onli be like 5 mins late for class! sighs.. but ... guess what!! TRAFFiC jAM!!
[raaaaaaaar @ traffic jaM]

ffs ..sersiously cud my day get any worse.... the answer is.. YEs! lol..=/

i got to the busport and ran to the platform c.. and went down the escalator and saw the bus and rann..but the bus... left! =/ *cries*
[double fukn raaaaaar @ uni bus!]

sighs so i had to wait for the 11am bus.. obviously gona be super late for class alredi coz my class..starts at 11 ! lol =/ sighs anyways.. guess what!? the FUkn bus cAME lATE!!!!!! LATE!
it came at 11.10!!!!!! TEN FUKN PAST!! and it takes about ten mins to get to friggn uni too!
[raaaaaar @ uni bus AGAIN!]

fuk sighs... wel i got on the bus and went to uni and got to class at...HALF pAST! btw ther is onli 45 mins in one class! haha =X sighh FUK! blehhhhhh.... i was scaared to walk into clas..>_< but i did in the end rofsl =/ how shittyly embarrassng sighs.. it was supeerly fukd in the ass! sighs

so how great was my morning!??? =)

sighs.. the rest of the day was average..nthing spectacularr.. and when i got home i just had the biggest headache ever and died for the rest of the night sighs.. ='(

that be my friday! how great was it!


-----

hmm now saturday.. mmm it started out goood.. i did some gardening, fixed my pool and washed some clothes.. but then roger started with me online again sighs and we ended up havn a huge fight over a stoopid misunderstanding which i even sed sorry to like a hundred times sighs.. it was the most shittiest thing ever and blehhh sighs.that obviously ruined my day !

blehhh.. yeah the rest of the day i didnt do much at all..i sat online.. played some pictionary.. tried to do some of my assignment and then..mmm.. jennie came over so we went to walk to farmer jacks to get some pizza for dinner! and a movie ^^

we watched the HoliDay! and ate our double bacon cheeseburger pizza =P lol mmm.. and pigged out on chips =X ..wel i did =X hahaha sighs then after that we played ps.. til.. late.. and i had a headache rofls then kod and went to slp =)

----

yes and today be sunday! mm i shud do some gardening X_x ahaha sigh but.. ... lol =X gardening =X zzz.. sighs.. yeahh havnt done anything yets.. i woke up about 30 mins ago and im supeer hungry atm sigsh =( mmmmm...yes...

ok well.. iwl write more again lateers^^

- dreamer (blEh'd)

first of all.. i wud like to say that i hav never been so ripped off by a watermelon in my life.. this watermelon that i bought.. omg loooks soo red..but ITS NOT FKN SWEET AT ALL! it tastes like shit! rofls hahahaha.. i think its probably the most shittiest tasting watermelon iv ever tasted! and im being dead serious rofls =X hahaa.. i love my watermelons so this is very very disappointing =(

mm sighhs anyways would u like to know how my day started?

wells.. i woke up and could get myself out of bed for about... forever lol hahaha sighs but i did eventualy and ran to the bus stop and made it ther just on time! 10.08am! ON THE DOT!! lols.. and i waited for.. 5 mins and the bus..didnt come!!! RAAAAAAAR~ if it came earlier i wud see it coz it makes a looop and comes out the other side where i can see it.. but..it didnt come out!! meaning it didnt comeeeeeee !! meaning i miss my tute! arghhhh sighs =( stoopid bus!!!!

and now i hav to do a makeup tute..which is at 1.. but that means that i cant make it to my group meeting to see the guy for my assignment! blehhh coz tute is 1-2 then there is a class 2-4! sighhh and the guy is onli freee 1-3!!! stoopiddnesss..! what a fukd up day! lol sighems..

mm sighs anyways last nght was weird.... i had a group meeting which finished at about 7.. and then roger came to pick me up.. firstly we studied a bit at mcL and thens we went to broadway to eat dinners.. and the food was fkn shit! lol sighs.. mm but we ended up havin a fight =/ sighs and then in the car on the way home he sed sorry to me and thens held my hand like we used to when we sat in the car together..sighs it was nice of course...sighs then wen we got bak to my house we ended up just chatting and doing hwk and listening to music..it was so nice!! it was like how we used to be bak in the days sighs.. s2* but then wen he sed he had to leave to go home.. my heart sank ...sighs and then he took some of his stuff that he left behind from when we were together...and it just felt soo shitty! sobs.. and now i duno wats happening! i duno whether he really misses me or he just came oveer to collect his stuff? sighs =( the feeling suks soo bad sobs*

i dont know wat he wants sighs.. but i reli want him bak sighs =( i wana hold him again and hug himm every dayyy! sigh i wana stop cryin and sayin goodbye like its the last time i might ever see him again sighs.. it suks..sayin goodbye to hm =( sighssssss.. ger ger germ.. iloveu sighs

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put me out of my misery man sighs.. blehhh argh just bring him bak to me already sighs =( *tears*

bleh FKN WATERMELOn it making me feel sick! sighs =(

arghh sobs.. im going to lie down sighs.. everywher hurts sighs..

- dreamer (loving u still.. waiting for u to come bak to me again sighs.. hurry up ger..sobs)

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

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- feel free to dream with me :)



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