i thought before i start the hardcore study today i will blog here and tell you about whats been happening. lol. sigh. its been a while since iv blogged and i hav so much crap that has been botteling up inside of me. and i havnt had a chance to let it out sigh. :(

yes, laugh all you want, its about boys again. haha. same boy. hmm, nothing new has really happend. he still lives on the other side of the country and i am still living here. apparently, he still likes me and wants to keep trying but.. i duno, things have felt different since i last saw him.

maybe its the fact that we dont know when we are going to see each other next. and so its kind of dying out because reality has hit us that this isnt going to work at all now. =/ i dont know. sigh.

its been different.. hes been acting different.. i guess, that honeymoon period is long gone and over. lol. so theres no more of that lovey dovey i miss u and shits. which i used to think was too much but then now im starting to miss it. because.. lately its just been nothing. sigh.. he tells me that he does miss me and nt to worry and that he dont need to tell me all the time and just know that i know he does... lol. that didnt really make sense just then did it? lol. =/

anyhoos, i duno what to do. thing is. we cant talk anymore.. and also, maybe i dont feel like talking to him as much anymore either.. is that a bad thing? lawl. sigh. thats prob a sign towards badness.. -_- zzz hahaha. the doubts, and now the lack of talk and emotions.. uh oh! ahhaha. this relationship was never meant to be from the very start.

ahhh.. sigh. hes a sweet guy, but also hes a guy. and i still get that stupid jealous feeling every now and then with him. hmm, there is things he does.. and says.. which gets to me.. -_- hes flirty with this girl... and yeah, i duno. they are friends.. but i mean,.. i duno. maybe thats me over thinkn. hahah but iv askd a few of my other friends and they are starting to think that maybe there is something dodge and sus about him.. lawl. hmm, you would never guess that.. coz he just.. yeah, sweeet.. gentleman like.. you wouldnt think that he would be like that... but then again, boys will always be boys.. n matter how nice or sweet they are. they are all the same. they all want the same thing. and bad enough that i hav uber trust issues hahaha... ok not uber. but.. iv had my fair share of experiences...

bleh, so now what to do?

im graduating soon. so then after this imma disappear anyway for a while. who knows how long. so then who knows how long we can keep talking to each other. we might not see or talk to each other for ages. especially since i wont have a phone over where i am moving to for the next 2 months.

right now, im kind of hoping that this whole thing with me and dd will die out. spesh with me moving away. hopefully it will just fade (into the background - lol sorry hahaha.. ne yo is playing) (8)

im sure he will be fine and i think we can walk out of this ok. :)

i duno, i do like him and i do miss him sometimes but i think im gettin to the point where im just giving up on us. and i cbfd with this. coz he is the type of guy who doesnt express any feelings!! he never smiles. hes emo as. and he wotn tell me how he feels. so it just gets f'ing fustrating trying to get anything out of him.

when i try to talk to him about us, he just ... i duno, ignores it. or says "iduno" or "sighs" or bleh. i duno, something stupid and then we let it go....

after exams, i think i gta hav a good long talk with him. sigh. theres way too many "ifs" in this relationship. hm, come to think of it, the whole relationship was based on an "if". - if he comes to perth end of the year to work... *blah*

if only he could read this blog lawl. it be easier than sayin it to him sigh. hes too nice. i dont want to hurt him..

anyways, i better get to the study. time is running out. lawl. and is only hitting me. i think its time for me to start stressing and gun down! hahaha. zzz

- dreamer (goodluck for exams all)

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

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- feel free to dream with me :)



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