well last night i had a very interesting experience which i wish i shall not have ever again sighs..
mm it was pros bday last night and so we all went out to sizzlers for dinners..mm..sighs.. we were lining up to get seated and our orders taken.. mm everything was all good.. until we got to near the front of the line...=/ mmm then i started feeling hot..and.. felt a bit sick..>_<
so i leaned against the wall a bit..but then.. everything started going blurry... O_o.. and evyerhting was just moving around very fast and that made me feeel sick =/ sighh and i tried to walk but then i lost balance and so i stumbled n sat down on the floor sigh..
mm tat happened about three times =/ til i reli lost it.. the last time that happend..we were at the counter ready to order..and i really cudnt see anymore.. everything was blurry and i cudnt stand at all.. and so i fell..and hit my head in the same time sigh
mm thens it kinda went black for a while and then i got water..>_< lols zz sighh..

i think.. it was juz..dehydration and maybe lack of food? sigh i duno =/ it was weirdo and i hope it doesnt happen again..mm..

i alwasie wonder how people can just faint and drop ..lol like during choir.. people faint and its scary like shit ..sigh hhaahaha..but then..mm maybe i wasnt tooooo bad last night.. or else iwud hav just dropped dead too =/ mm but like i cud control it a bit..and if i sat down it got clear again..but i just cudnt get up X_x sighh...

anyways after that it got ok.. mmm it was weirdo coz like i got reli reli heated up til i was sweating =/ n then about 2 mins after i ko'd it got reli reli cold..and i was shivering and gettin goosebumps..sigh X_x

arghh i miss roger sigh.. =/ yes i knowthat was random..but i alwasie think about him sighs..and espesh after something reli random and bad happens sighs.. i alwasie think about him sighs..=( i wish that he would hurry up sighs.. i need hm bak soo bad sighs... and dont tell me that im not patient sighs.. i am..iv been waiting for soo long alredi sighhhs

and im still waiting...

sighs.. i never thought that i would ever chase after one person so badly sigh so much.. iv never ever done it before sighs..and i dont plan to do it ever again =X haha sighs.. but i reli do.. i do i do love him alot sigh.. reli more than words can ever say.. sigh i dont know how to describe it and bleh it must be real sighs coz..it been so long.. and my friend sed sumtink about..waiting.. if u wait u figure out what u realy want ...n.. iv been waiting..and i realised that i still really want him.. sighs even after everything that has happend..sighs..i would still give up everything for him .. sighs.. *s2*

aiyahh...

pls get him to hurrry up sighs.. im waiting but i cant wait for soo long too sighs..it kills me every single day not to tlak to him properly in person and to huggg him sigh.. everytime that i see him.. i die..i relireli die inside..sighh coz i cant hold his hand and hug and kiss him whenever i want to..and when i see him sigh ='( *tears*

my heart still beats for him sighs.. it hasnt stopped sigh.. everything that i do still revolves around him sigh and i cant help it sighs it just so natural..=( i dont understand him sometimes..sigh especially now..sobs.. he says that he misses me and he cares about me..that he wants things to be good between us and for us not to fight nemore sigh.. but he alwasie scrws things up when we get good and close again sighs.. to mee..its like hes running sighh iduno whuy tho.. he knows that me and him are good together sighs.. arghh if i cud hav a wweek to be with him again sigh and make him remember eveyrthing tht we had sighhh and make him miss me sighhhh..='(

i wish he would let me in again soon.. very very soon *tear*
it hurts..every day..every night..every moment without him sighs..it reli reli hurts..=( sobs.. shit nothing else in my life matters more than he does sigh.. hes the onli one who can make me smile a real smile sigh the only one who can make me happy and laugh.. sigh hes the one who makes me hav that funy but nice feeling when i see him sighs.. hes the onli one who i hug and it feels..perfect sigh.. it feels warm and everything just fits sighs.. *tear*
bleh! i reli love him more than i can ever explain sighs.. i miss him soo muchh.. sooo soooo much sigh.. even when im talkn to him online or sitting next to him sigh.. i still miss him =( sighs.. it hurts being soo physically close to him but not being able to hav him sigh..hav him as my own again sighs.. =(

ithink bak at all the memories that we had..the times that we went out sighh.and i regret soo much sighs.. i used to not hold his hand when we went shopping in south areas coz id be paranoid that people would see me with him..people being my parents friends sigh and then they will tell my paretns and i die sighh.but i regret sighh soo much..i wish i held his hand every day sighhh every second i was with him sighs *tear* i wish that i wasnt soo fkn gay sigh and i didnt take him forgranted sighhhh.. i feel soo stoopid sighs.. coz i most probably brought this onto myself sighs.. i didnt love him as much as he loved me back then sighs and then blehh im soo stoopid sighs...

arrghh sighs i dont want to cry nemore sighs.. i cant take it ..im soo weak now adays sighs.. i wish i cud be happy again with him sighs.. i wish he wud hurry up and come bak to me sighs.. >_< cries.. my life witout him..sigh reli is incomplete.. i dont say all this stuff to get attention or make people feel sorry for me sigh..its reli how i feel.. yes maybe im love sick sighh.. sigh its true tho..i love him and i miss him and i reli want him bak sigh n life reli feels soo empty and shit witout him with me sighhs.. im not me nemore sigh.. im lost..sighhs.. i cant smile sighs i cant laugh or hav a good time nemore sighs.. all i ever think abot is him sighs even if i try not to and try to hav fun sighs.. in the end..the first and last ting i think about every single day is..him sigh

ilove him more than uwl ever know sigh i love him more than words can say.. i love him every moment and second of the day sighs.. u tell me to let go ..sigh its not easy.. right now..its very impossible for me sigh.. me and him ..sigh wev been thru way tooo much to give up now sighs..

- dreamer (waiting...iloveu rl)

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

evavas blogger
chicknjas blogger
my photO site hehe
link
link



- feel free to dream with me :)



br>