argh bleh.. i cant take it man..sighs.. i tried not to talk to him while we both online ..zz and he didnt even talk to me.. arghh it suks..seeing him online and not talking to me.. like wongy sed..sighh u wonder who else hes talkn to coz ur not that important to him nemore sigh and then u just sit tere waiting for him to talk and hope tat he misses u..sigh blehh omgggggggg it sukS!
i lost it juz then.. and i sed hi..but..he didnt even reply..well he did..but then we didnt start talking.. he isnt talkn! sigh *heartbreaks*

arghhh i duno how he does it sigh.. i feel soo bleh when it comes to him.. when hes around or when im talkin to him ..i feel soo ..differnt.. >_< i get scared and my heart beats faster than usual.. and then i get sad ..sighhhs.. arghhh im tryin to keep myself distracted and to move on and wat not zz but arghh. i reli reli do love him ..and i reli miss him..every single night..and i duno wat to do..

right now..myheart feels soo heavy.. like its drowning in my own tears.. sigh.. its beating soo slowly sighs and sometimes it hurts sigh.. i feel like crying but im tryin not to.. i feel a tear forming in my eye and ready to go sighs.. i feel like shit..and all this coz he isnt talkn to me! =( arghhh.. help me sighs.. help me pls.. i duno wat to do..

argh seriously..wat does he want from me.. sighs.. blehhh arghh and blehh why cant i juz hav him bakk sighs.. iv been soo patient and iv been waiting and putting up with all his shit that hes been throwing at me.. iv seriously had the worse year so far.. and its all because of him..

one person..

shit the tear has come out..zz sighs i still feel all bleh and clogged up inside tho sighs =( i cant talk properly coz my throat is stuk .. it wants to cry but.. i dun want to cry lol..sigh =(

arghhhhhh negative energy! sighs =( arghh sryy to everyone zz i know iv been a pain in the ass lately sighs im tryin mann sigh trust me.. that whuy i havnt been online in soo long sighs.. the net now adays makes me soo sad and depressed..coz like i sed earlier..sigh i see him..and i wana talk to him zz but we cant talk like we used to sighs.. =( and i get all sad zz coz blehhhhhh hees online but we dont talk as much as i want to talk to him sighs.. and blehh =( i just miss him soo much..

being offline suks too tho coz its so lonley and then i think about him too sighs.. blehh no matter wat i think about him all the time? sigsh =( hahaha blehh i cant help it.. im sure some of u will understand wat im on about sighs..>_<" blehh im stuck ! sigh soo stuk.. and i cant get out at all..

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wana run away sometimes.. blehhh but i know thaat running away aint gona make things go away or make anything better sighs.. blehhh it just suks..being stukk.. zz it suks soo bad! ARGHH i juz wna hug him again sighs.. i wana kiss him and tell him i love him and hear him say it bak to me..sigh =( i wana stay at home and offline and just be with him.. watchin tv or eatin dinner together.. and thens not worying about anything else.. just me and him all over again sighs.. i wud give anything for that.. tears

i wish that he misses me sighh i wish that he thinks about me every night sigh i wish that he still has feelings for me and i wish that he wud give me another chance sighs.. i wishhh soo bad that i can hav him again every day and every nght sighs .. my heart reali aches for him sighs.. i juz feel so bleh and empty without him with me in my life sighs.. nothing ever seems to go right for me now adays sighs.. everythign alwasie fuks up and i hav the shittiest days ever sighs...

bleh sigh.. cries.

how do i make him mine again? sighs

arghh i must study sigh.. blehh

iwl rite more laters sighs...

- dreamer (missing him more than ever sigh)

** its soo true.. wat hurts the most..is being soo close .. them just standing ther..sigh but u can onli love them from a distance now.. coz they dont belong to u nemore sigh.. and all the memories u hav ..sigh how last time u cud just hug them straight away when u see them.. u can kiss them and hold their hand whenever u wanted to.. sigh.. nw ..hes just standing right ther.. talkin to u sigh right in front of u..i wudnt even call it a distance sigh but u cnt do anything.. u cant tell them that u miss them that u love them and u wana be with them forever sigh.. u just hav to pretend and smile and keep talking sigh and hope that they will hug u when u say goodbye tears.. it hurts so bad...to keep all this inside of u sigh for him not to feel the same nemore like he used to sigh.. u think about how he used to hold u sigh and how he wud hug u and whisper in ur ear that he wud love u forever and ever tear.. u rmber the times that u had with him.. how nothing else in the world mattered as long as u wer with him cries.. it hurts soo much not to be able to have him as my own nemore sigh.. it hurts to see him and to talk to him.. its hard..i gta pretend when i talk to him ..coz i cant talk to him normally nemore sigh.. im soo scared and blehh my heart reli hurts..i just wish i cud run up to him and hug him and tell him how sorry i am and how much i love him and alwasie will and he will forgive me and take me back and give us another chance..cries.. i wish he wud take me back..cries.. i wish he will love me again like he used to..tears..my life suks soo bad witout him in it..cries.. i duno wat to do nemore..cries..bring him bak to me....tears iloveurl**

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

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