well October is ending, and this month has really been hectic!

not only the birthdays every single day .. for the next 5 days or so lols.. but my big problem, roger.
in fact, everything was going really well this month..although the usual occational fighting.. we were "ok".. we had an understanding and we were going to get through the year like that.. sigh..
but two nights ago it kinda came crumbling down.. we had a fight but man this fight is like none of the other fights!
this was was.. THE fight.. the major fight which killed me and it was bad that i dont think its possible for me and him to get over it for a very very long time.

its so bad that what we agreed to do (i shall tell u soon) doesnt make any sense at all and yes i do know its stoopid so dont have to remind me thanku.

hmm yes, we had a big fight which ended up with him saying that me and him will never be together ever again.. never! he said never! sighs =( he sed it a few times too.. so that really broke my heart..sigh into a billion pieces which i dont think can be put back together for a very long time.. sighs..

it sucks.. hearing never.. especially from someone who u thought u could see FOREVEr with.. and spent so many years with him and then now its all over.. and to think that its completely over.. and theres no more hope.. it really sucks.. big time.. sighs

i wish that things were different..and i didn't fight wit him..and we never broke up and i didn't do this and that.. and sigh.. i wish that he still loved me.. *tear*

anyways.. today we came to a very retarded agreement.. that me and him be "ok" until i leave to Singapore.. which is in about two months.. but about one month coz of exams.. sighs.. ok yes stoopid..but the main reason for this is.. coz of my bday and his bday..and man i really wanted to be here for his 21st..and it would be our 3 year anniversary too.. if we lasted..sighs (U) o wels.. its the past right.. i gta start thinkn like that =/ zz *bleh* as much as i hate it and it hurts..sighs

mmm yea so now..i should be treasuring it right? and trying to spend as much time as i can with him? sighs or like the time i have with him i should make the most out of it..sighs maybe it might leave a good impression..well no not impression, but he will remember the good times and reconsider his stoopid never.. !?

ok no wishful thinking serene..sighs zz

anyways.. i dno.. ilove him still... and man this goodbye is going to be sad..and long..and painful.. tears.. i wish that things were different and everything was still good between us..and we would have our 3 years and a happy bday for both of us.. something that we would remember forever.. sighs... *heartbrokened*

but yes we all knew that this was coming to an end eventually.. this whole craziness that wev had this year sighs.. and yes jh is right im in denial atm lol =/

bleh lets hope that things go good this last two months..and maybe hewl come crawling back like the other one.. =) lols.. *fingers crossed*

no matter what happens i know that i will always love him.. first love.. hard to let go.. sighs.. tears..

- dreamer (loving you always)

"life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it"

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

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- feel free to dream with me :)



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