hm wel today i shall blog two blogs.. first sad then good.. so the good will be on the top =) ie.less emo and depressing blog impression lol =/

hmm anyways.. yesterday was all good actually.. i had the time of my life.. but then it all came crashing down on me again today..
and u know wat, suprisingly.. it wasnt because of him this time.. he didnt even hav any slight influence =/ lol sighs...

instead it was friends.. and just me shutting myself down =/ sighs..

im meant to hav a beach bday bbq tmro arvo.. but the weather doesnt look very good for tmro.. its going to be 19 and raining =/ sighs.. thts definately not beach weather.. hmm so anwyays.. i decided to keep it going however, if it rains its called off.. which is fair enough right coz its going to rain?

hmm sighs.. so today i was meant to go out with a fw uni friends.. who i thought i was reli close with .. sighs.. but then i was proven wrong like i usual.. sighs..

wong told me the other day..that i hav shit friends and if they were real friends they wold come to my bday no matter rain or shine and would change work so that they could come down etc..

he sed that if they were real friends..when they got the invite.. or i askd them..they should say yes straight away like..wong and alvin and the rest of the boys =) sighs.. they are reali good friends sighs..and ilove em and thank them heaps for everything that theyv helped me with ..and juz being for me ..all the time!
iloveu boys!

sighs anywyays.. today was meant to go shopping and maybe hit the beach for a bit..to make up for tmros shitty beachy condition in advance.. sighs nothing much.. just sumtink small relaxing and simple with a few peoples..
but then it turns out.. bleh.. theyr just like all the other friends..
at least one of them tried for me.. he actually made an effort to ask people and try and make it happen for me.. sighs.. =)

the other one.. man i tought i was reli close to that one..sighs he reli made me sad..sighs.. he juz knda like.. kept makin up excuses..and it seemd like he didnt reli wana do anyting anyway..sighs and bleh.. it kinda reli suks.. n hurts.. to find out that those who are ur close friends.. are all jus fake and not reli close at all.. theyr jus friends.. and arent reli there when u need them to be there..

cries

iv really lost a whole lot of friends ..sighs.. i dont even hav a reli close friend nemore.. bleh sighs.. roger keeps telln me that i complain too much and tahts its annoying ..bleh sighs its not complaining..sigh its me being sad..sighs.. my life has reli been crumbing every day sighs .. man this year has been reli reli bad to me. sighs.. i dont know why.. its probably karma.. i havnt done many good things in my life..sigh i guess thats how imma get punished..by whoevers up ther =/ sighs

sighs life reli suks..

i hate all them people who pretend to be ur friends but then.. they reli want wats best for themselves.... and only invite u to bdays for presents or smtink like that.. sighs..

man iv had soo many problems with friends this year..sighs.. not fun at all =(
some people are jus so fake.. they pretend to be ur friends.. sighs.. its jus dodgyy.. i hate it...

i want someoen who will be truthful and not say shit behind my back.. and who will be there for me whenever i need them.. even if i dont ask .. they will know i need them there n be ther for me no matter wat..sighs

i miss my chris.. were not that close nemore..sighs but.. i still reckon hes the closest thats ever gotten there.. hes the bestst friend iv had.. ever..sighs.. the onli thing he doesnt meet..is being ter for me physically coz hes in singapore =( which reli suks..sighs.. i reli wish he were still here.. sighs.. i never reli gota be bestest bestest friends with him while he was here..coz he left soo fast sighs..

imiss u heaps chris and love u so much *Hugs* thanku for everything that uv done for me.. for all the times uv leant me ur shoulder.. no wait.. ear and phone to cry on =) lols.. and all the crap u hav to put up with.. sighs.. ur the bestest out there!

loveu chris



anyways..iwl get to the good news now..=) i juz had a kitkat.. it made me happier a bit =) hehehe

- dreamer

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

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- feel free to dream with me :)



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