I was told by a friend that the reason why he might say the things that he says... is that he doubts himself to commit but in the same time he does care for me.. or else he wnt ask the things he asks. but that in the same time is a very selfish thing to do. lol.
hmm, i think me and him are about the same. cept i know that if i really like the guy and if i am with a guy (as in bf- man even if not bf.. see how im quite very commited to this guy) i wont fuck around. at all. im not like that. sigh. but yeah. we are both very selfish. we want each other but we still love being single? hmm maybe not. ok. common point = selfishness.
my reason for not wanting to like him anymore that i already do is...im scared of him. he is a nice guy. he makes me laugh and hes smart. he really has the potential to be so perfect. but. im scared that he will break my heart. iv had my heart broken before so its hard for me to let my heart go again. and espshlly to this boy. hes already been screwing around and were not together. and our relationship. scares me coz i cant imagine what hed do if we were actually dating and together. argh. its really scary ahhaa. so i guess, part of me wishes and is glad that he is still like how he is and he cant commit to me. coz... i know that once he tells me that he wants me and only me .. i will let my guard down and.. then i will be screwed lol. coz i will start liking him more than i want to.
hmm.. confusing huh. lols. i thought that i was over this stage. but i guess after that "serious" talk we had the other day. it made things clear, yet very complicated in the same time. hahaha.
now we both know that we both do like each other and we do want to keep seeing each other. but in the same time he cant commit to me. and in the same time. since im soo fkn confused. i dnt know if i want him to either. so.. hmm confusing as hel. rofls.

oops i left my blog for an hour hahaha. =/ i will write more later. train of thought derailed lols.

- dreamer

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

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- feel free to dream with me :)



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