i was talking to my friend earlier today about boys.. as we girls always do. haha. boys boys and boys!
it sucks how right now my life is revovling around boys. i have to change it sigh. iv been stuck for soo long. i guess maybe coz i havnt got anything else to occupy my mind and also i am alone. so.. keep me company....boy! hahah

anyways, we were talking about my currently fail situation with my guy. well, no not my guy. haha he was only my guy for 2 weeks. sigh. hmmm, currently i am stuck!
dont know what to do about the whole thing. since hes left its been a tad awkward. awkward in the sense that we both already know that we like each other and we miss each others company already. but then.. we both know that it cant happen ever. coz he is soo far away.. ok no, ever is a bit extreme..who knows what can happen right? (being hopeful lol)

but yea, so now how do we act? tell each other the truth about how we feel? that we miss each other? .. hmm but then, doesnt that make things harder for both of us? coz we are still talking like we are a couple missing each other.. and that means that we are talking in hopes that things will still be okay.. but in reality.. it isnt! right? lol. coz in reality he lives too far away and its jus too hard to have a long distance relationship. i am totally nt the type to do such a thing. it never ever works. sigh. so then.. if we think of things in a more realistic way.. shudnt we jus stop talking or just not talk as much and ignore it.. like it never happend..and try to move on.. sigh..

its such a mess..

anyways, besides that we were also tlaking about reboundage.. hmm it sucks how in order to move on from ur ex or last crush u gta find another crush?! im not saying it happens to everyone..but most of the time.. to get over one..u gta find..another one.. haha so its like a never ending cycle..so best is if u just stay single and never hav a first gf/bf hahaa jks. sigh.

but yeah, how fail is that.. ahh all in all.. boys suck and we suggest throwing rocks at them :P hahaha.



anyways i just realised the time and i gta run. sigh another fail blog. haha i was into it til i left it too lng.. sigh. iwl write more later hahah :)

- dreamer

20 april 2009: 3:12am

What am i supposed to do? sigh. i thought that i was stronger... i guess it goes to show that you cant control your emotions and how you feel for somebody.
sigh. well well its been a while dear blog and boy has alot been happening. haha. sigh, well just to quickly update on the current topic at hand in my head..
i met a guy about two months ago.. he is a friend of a friend and he came over from the east for one weekend of drunkedness and partying! :) little did i knw that this guy has turned out to be my big dilemma tonight.
anyways, this random tool of a guy that i have never met before forgot to book a hotel for his weekend stay, so my friend asked me whether he could crash at my house for the weekend...
at first i thought.. wat the f. lawl. what a loser. and why should i let a random into my house? will i get attacked? haha. jks. hmm, well i guess for a friend (a really good friend) it was has hard to say no. and so, i picked up this random white boy off the streets that night and shelterd him for a weekend.
lawl.! over this long weekend. so much happend! it was one of the most eventful three consecutive days iv ever had in my life! haha.

not only did i pick up and shelter a random hobo white boy i met a few hours earlier, but i also got into a car accident the very next day, paid a stupid amount to go into a festival and ended up kissing the random hobo. lawl. SIGH. it was a well and trully epic weekend!! (and this was nearly two months ago)
anyways, yeah as my summary states in my previous sentence, me and hobo imma call david hooked up. lawl. but then.. he left.. as he had to, since he lived over east. and we thought. ok wat the hel. it was all fun times. drunk times. just a kiss or two. was nice knowing you.. ;) haha that sort of thing...
but.........

oh big big but! haha we ended up talking on msn and smsing etc. heaps while he was back home, and i was here... sigh. and that be a good.. sigh i guess.. he really is a nice guy, a true gentleman and he is such a sweety!
and soon enof i fell for him and told him that i had a crush on him, maybe i liked him.. and that it cant happen....lol. sigh. mainly because of the distance thing... which is true. if you gys reading this knw me well enough, you will very well know that me and long distance is the biggest fail ever! and cant happen! haha
it wont work, its too hard, and non accessable (hehehe.inside joke) SIGH. big big SIGH!

ahh well, didnt want to make thngs too akward since he was planning on coming back to perth and stayng at my house again. so i was stuck in a dilemma. still stuck!! (yes, i have a thing with these..things.. always gettin stuck because of boys.haha. damn boys. they like my kryptonight)
anyways, now.. he is here.. no no, now it is his last night here. hes spent two weeks in perth this trip already. and.. sigh. its been too goood :) when im with him it feels like i have a boyfriend again. we hold hands, we hug n kiss.. sigh its sickenning lol. but hes made me miss it so much. to hav someone to hold. and to be held to bed at night :)
its the sweetest feeling ever...
but.....

yes yes big buts again.... sigh. hes going.....

what do i do now?

i have fallen for him pretty bad. i like him.. quite very much! lawl. and i think i teared for him just before (ok yes i teared zz lawl) sigh. but i feel soo stupid coz... from the very beginnning we both knew it wasnt going to happen. and i was so soo certain that i wouldnt let my guard down and like him lke i do now. sigh.
i told myself that i had to be strong, fend off his sweetness and all. coz it wasnt gona work full stop. he lived wayy too far away..and it was all for fun that day in march.. sigh.
now look what iv gotten myself into! sigh. this two weeks. we just been spending endless amounts of time together..and its just too nice. and im liking him wayy too much than i should. sigh. now im just uberly stuck! sigh. so stuck!

ahh, i gta man up. sigh. it wasnt meant to be. we both knew it.. sigh. life is mean lol. its an iffy situation now too because our friend is one of my closest friends ever. sigh. and i dont want things to be too akward.
bleh. man, why do i always get myself into all this shit. lawl. my friend sed to me last night "at least hes not in germany" hahaha -_- FAIL i say FAIL! hahaha.

SIGH!!!!

anyways, i guess... i duno.. i duno wat to think. i just feel cut. and stupid. haha sigh. iwl be right. :)
just thought itd ramble it all out to you is all :)

sigh..

gooodnights!

- dreamer (stuck on you.)

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

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- feel free to dream with me :)



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