im not too sure what i am feeling right now but i think it might be a slight emptiness. maybe its be the shows that iv been watching, with new love and love broken, death and life and such.. and it might have to do with the sappy love and breakup songs that i am listening to now.. lol. yes, i think that might be it.. also that its a public holiday and there is nothing much to be doing, and i am slightly tired and aching and cant be bothered getting out of bed - no motivation at all.
sigh. but also coz i think i really do miss you.
its times like these i wish that you were here next to me. we would sleep in and only wake up for food when we are hungry :) and then you'd tell me that you love me while you spoon me and kiss me gently.
sigh.
but i will never have that with you.. ever. and the thought of that sucks real bad b. it was bad enough, that i couldn't touch you, hold you, feel your lips against mine.. but now this.. it feels like a part of me is missing. coz it's been a while baby and iv been so used to seeing you and hearing your sexy voice over the line every day.. and on days like these...
do you remember that sunday we both just stayed in bed chilling out together with asot 2009~~ :) it was nearly perfect.. besides you being 14,000 miles away... ha! sigh. that part was the worst! i dont know how we did it. boy, i dun even know what we were doing.. but you were perfect to me.. you were everything that i am looking for, everything that i want, we were great.. ~
and now writing this, you might find it stupid. and i guess, maybe it is a little.. but we do crazy things when we fall for someone.. even if it was just a bubble, an escape from reality.
you gave me hope. you made me smile. you made me feel something i haven't felt in a very long time. and the fact that we had never touched or physically met.. makes it even more crazy that i fell for you.
you are right; that we have created this bubble where in each other's eyes we are just perfect for each other. we have created a love that no one else would understand, and no one else had a part of. :) it was literally just you and me every time we talked.. :) it was just me and you baby.
and yes, we were both right in thinking that this was just a dream, and wish and hope that it would come true. but the reality is that we live so far apart and we are just two people on a laptop screen. haha. sigh.
i do miss you. i miss the thought of having you. i really wish that one day my dream will come true. and i love you for making me feel special every moment we talked. i love you for giving me hope. i love you.. or at least the thought of you.
i knew that this bubble was going to pop eventually but i didn't think it was soo sudden. and i told myself from the beginning that even if it did pop i wouldn't be so emotional over it. hahaha. ahhh..
honestly im not too sure how i feel. its a weird feeling. coz i knew it was going to end one day, and so i only have myself to blame for feeling the hurt i am feeling right now. however i do not regret.. it was crazy - you and me. but it was great. it made me feel alive again, made me feel warm and loved. you definitely made my days brighter with your cheeky ways and smile.. and il never forget them green eyes babe <3 ehehe.
i don't know how i feel. im so glad i met you. but im so sad you're "gone". its a mix emotion. in a way i feel like i just got out of a relationship.. well, technically i just did huh. but wheres my closure? hahaha. maybe that's why im stuck. you left without saying goodbye :( and i know its not my fault, and things be crazy over there.. but.. no goodbye. it sucks..
my perfection, my escape, my guy that iv come to have known and loved over these 4 months.. suddenly out of my life... its hard to cope with.. its hard to adjust.. i don't really want to adjust.. i kinda want you back. (or the real you, here.<3)
~~ never fade away.. never fading out.. stars aren't so bright, when you're not here.. i'll wait forever my dear... your love, your love.. won't ever.. disappear ~ :)
thankyou for everything b.
i wish that you would come back. and it would be a dream come true if you did come like you said you wanted to. :) it'd be crazy. it would be fun. i'd really be a fairytale. :) haha but thats just a crazy dream that i have. lol. "we" had... ahhh.. "...(yes we are in a relationship)..." hahaha. oh j.
i love you.
and i will remember you. ~
- dreamer (hope)
& dream a little, dream with me
serenery
i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.
~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson
