it hurts seeing something you love fall apart. something you have known for all your life come crumbling down. and you feel so helpless when you are left there not knowing what to do - trying to make it better but then never succeeding. now what do you do? now you are left with nothing? broken and lost inside.

you start questioning things, wondering why and how things could change so quickly and so easily. you put yourselves in their shoes and think how could one person be so selfish and how can someone change so much just like that. what ever happened along the way. did we do something wrong? how could this happen?

i dont know what to do to make things better. but i know i have a say. but then again, i duno what to say. and i do not know how to say at all. urgh. its just such a puzzle to me how something so good can be broken just like that. and with no proper explanation. just done. poof. - well i hope theres no poofing around anytime soon. i will try and fix it. sigh. i have to.

anyways, the other day a friend of mine lost his father. sigh. something no child should have to bare at such a young age. your parents are meant to be there for you while you grow up and watch you get married, walk you down the aisle and play with the grandkids as they slowly tumble in. they arent meant to leave you at 21. sigh. my poor benn. i am so sorry that i am not there for him to help him through his grief. at a time like this, one needs their friends and people who care about them around them to lighten the pain. sigh but im not there. and im so sorry. :(

rest in peace mr balford. although i had never got the chance to meet you.. i have heard much about you. and your kids loved you and cared for you like there was no tmro. i was jealous of the relationship that you guys had coz he would put me on hold to talk to you for hours :) and your kids would arrange lunch for everyone to meet just for you. your daily talks and visits. sounds like you guys were so close. and i was looking forward to meeting you when i got back from my trip. :( but this was so sudden and so tragic... i am in shock and i am sad i never got the chance to be englightened by your presence. however, you are in a better place now and may you rest in peace with the angels above. :) you will be in the hearts of many. *s2*

sighs. its scary how life can be so short and so unpredictable. one day you are on the phone talking about your day, laughing over old times and planning a future meeting.. and then suddenly, its all taken away from you. and sometimes you dont even get a chance to say goodbye.

makes you realise that you really cant live life with regrets and that you must take every opportunity that you get. there is no point being sad and angry over something. no point to hold a grudge. life is seriously too short for all that bs. sigh.

i guess actions speak louder than words. but its so hard to try and show her this and make her listen to me. sigh. i guess i can never understand the pain that she is in. i know it must be killing her inside and i feel so sad every time i see her. but i dont know what i can do anymore. and i wish i could help her take the pain away. but i dont know how... i just dont know. and it hurts me inside. and i try to be strong, coz someone has to. and everyone around me seems to be breaking down.

its so easy to run away from it all. to just pack up my bags and leave. sigh. but i know that they need me. and iv made him a promise. sigh. i gta do it. i just dont know how...

i really dont know how...

serenery

i believe that the simple things in life are always the most important
that we should never take the people around us for-granted.
life is never long enough, and is an unexpected journey.
and every obstacle are just life's tests to shape who we are,
that mistakes aren't "mistakes" but learning blocks to better ourselves.
i believe you have to take risks - to live life to the fullest and make the most of what we have.
because we only live once.

~ my goal of book reading still stands this year haha and so now i have decided to just list all the books iv been reading and read
> The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
> Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom
> My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
> Vanishing Acts - Jodi Picoult
> The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
> Deception Point - Dan Brown
> Highway Guitar Rose - Bridget Lowry
> The Pelican Brief - John Grisham
> Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years - Sue Townsend
> For One Last Day - Mitch Albom
> Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowlings
> Bridget Jone's Diary [the first one]
- Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince - JK Rowlings
- Singletini - Amanda Trimble
- Falling Blossom - Peter Pagnamenta and Momoko Williams
- The Deep End of the Ocean - i shall getbak to u lol
- Ugly - Constance Briscoe
- Simply Irresistible - Rachel Gibson

evavas blogger
chicknjas blogger
my photO site hehe
link
link



- feel free to dream with me :)



br>